Konoha Television
by PopPunkChick21
Summary: Tsunade has assigned Team 7 a mission: create and run a TV show and broadcast it to the village of Konoha. With the three team members being the hosts of a TV show, things are positive to stay chaotic. Tune in today to watch our favorite ninjas on TV!
1. Episode One

**Disclaimer**

 **I do not own Naruto. Naruto is the sole property of Misashi Kishimoto.**

Episode 1: Pilot

 _Camera pans in on a disgruntled Naruto and sheepish looking Sakura._

"Hello! Welcome to the Konoha show!" Sakura chirped, looking slightly over the camera.

"Tsunade's making us do this because the missions are super slow right now," Naruto mumbled.

"Now, you may be asking, where is Sasuke in all of this," Sakura began. "Well, he's... where is he?" She looked panicked.

"I don't know! You said you knew!" Naruto accused.

The screaming ensued, and with each response, they grew closer and closer.

"Well, I obviously don't!"

"You should!"

"Why can't you ever figure things out?!"

"Because that's your job!"

"My job is to babysit you!"

"I don't need a babysitter."

"Then keep up with things!"

"Sasuke's your boyfriend, why should I watch after him?!"

Sakura blushed. "He is so not my boyfriend!"

"Then why can you never stop talking about him?!"

"I do too!"

"Do not!"

"Do too!"

"Do not!"

"I do too. Your argument is irrelevant."

"Well, your face is irrelevant."

Sakura glared. "Is that all you can come up with?"

"No! I can come up with plenty more!"

Their faces were inches apart.

The door opened to allow Sasuke Uchiha to enter. A fake crowd cheering system applauded. "Sorry I'm late. I had things to take care of," Sasuke began before looking over at Naruto and Sakura.

Who were now kissing.

In a panic from the door opening, they fell on top of each other, locking lips in the process.

Sasuke groaned. "Get a room!" He threw a stack of papers at the two entangled on the floor. "Seriously, this is television. Children are watching!"

Sakura pulled herself off of Naruto, who was still stunned. Blushing, she wiped at her mouth. "Oh gosh, Sasuke, thank goodness you came when you did! The freak kissed me!"

The camera panned to a smaller television in the corner which slowly replayed the entire first scene.

Sakura blushed more. "No, no, Sasuke, it's lying! It was just a freak accident!"

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Hn."

"Do you still love me, Sasuke?"

Sasuke squinted. "Loved you?"

Naruto bolted up. "See, Sasuke doesn't love you! You can stop acting like he's your boyfriend any time now!"

Sakura, fed up, walked straight to Naruto, and punched him.

Naruto went flying through the glass window.

Sakura, being too busy seething with rage, remained at the window, shouting insults at Naruto.

"Alright, guys, uh, thank you for tuning in, I guess. See you next time?" Sasuke mumbled, glancing back occasionally.


	2. Episode Two

**Disclaimer**

 **I do not own Naruto. Naruto is the sole property of Misashi Kishimoto.**

Episode 2: Thank You, Lady Tsunade!

 _The camera pans in on the studio. One window is broken from the events of the previous episode. Naruto is sitting perfectly still in a chair behind a wooden desk, Sakura is shuffling papers, and Sasuke is sitting in a chair away from Sakura and Naruto._

"Hello, and welcome back to Konoha Television!" Sakura exlcaimed perkily. She shuffled the papers on the desk once more before continuing. "Today, we have a special guest and a special announcement. Sasuke, would you do the honors?"

"Hn."

Sakura twitched. "I said, Sasuke, would you do the honors?"

Sasuke glared. "Naruto, speak."

Naruto grunted. "It appears that Sakura, our _lovely_ host, broke my arm."

Sakura glowered. "Naruto, stick to the script!"

"Maybe if you didn't throw people out windows because you don't get what you want this wouldn't happen!"

"Well maybe if you kept your mouth shut I wouldn't throw you out of the windows!"

Sakura pounced on Naruto, wrestling him to the ground behind the desk. Sounds of fists beating skin could be heard throughout the studio.

Sasuke sighed. "Today, our guest is Tsunade, our current Hokage. Come on in, Tsunade."

The door opened and Tsunade stepped in. "Hello, thank you everyone!"

"So, we have Tsunade here today because-"

"Sakura, stop it, that hurts!"

"Shut up! We're in the middle of a show!"

"Sasuke can handle it!"

"Sasuke? Oh, right, Sasuke!" Sakura shouted, popping up from behind the desk. She glanced around. "You already called Tsunade in?"

Sasuke sighed again. Tsunade turned to face Sakura. "Yep. I've been waiting. Finally, you stop making out with Naruto long enough to acknowledge me."

Sakura blushed. "I was _not_ making out with him!"

"She did that last episode," Naruto shouted from his place on the floor.

Naturally, Sakura walked over and kicked him out of the window.

Again.

"I'm starting to think that should be how you sign off," Tsunade stated, glancing at the second broken window.

Sasuke nodded. "I agree."

Sakura turned around. "Now, on three. One, two three."

Together, Sasuke and Sakura chorused, "Thank you, Lady Tsunade!"

"Now, tune in next time for our next guests!" Sakura shouted. "Buh-bye!"


	3. Episode Three

**Disclaimer**

 **I do not own Naruto. Naruto is the sole property of Misashi Kishimoto.**

Episode 3: Thank You, Lady Tsunade! Part 2!

 _The camera pans in on the studio. Two windows are broken. Naruto is absent. Sakura is glaring at the shattered window. Sasuke is sitting in a chair away from Sakura near the television in the corner. Tsunade is in her seat._

"Hello, and welcome back to-" Sakura began, before getting cut off by an angry Naruto on the other side of the studio door.

"Shut it, Sakura! Let me in! This is my show too!"

"Na na na na na, I can't hear you!"

"Open up!"

"What was that? Does anyone else hear an annoyance?"

"SAKURA! Open the door!"

"Go away, Naruto, we're doing a show here!"

"SAKURA!"

"Security, please, remove him from the building!"

"Why ask Security? You've already removed me from the building twice!"

"Security!"

The sound of banging and punches could be heard from the other side of the door, along with Naruto's angry screams.

"Anyways, now that that's over with," Saskue began. "We can begin discuss the real matters here."

"Hello, and welcome back to Konoha Television!" Sakura shouted.

"Sakura, the shows been running," Sasuke stated. "It's been on since you said that the first time."

"But, I didn't finish it the first time! Why did the cameraman start rolling then?!"

"Because, Sakura, that's his job. It's your job to act civilized."

"Sasuke-kun!"

"Anyways, back to you, Tsunade. Why don't you explain why you gave us this mission," Sasuke said, changing the subject and leaving Sakura with her jaw open.

"I gave this mission to teach you three how to be entertaining without fighting. There is more to life than constantly battling," Tsunade rambled, looking pleased.

Sakura grinned. "That's right! Lady Tsunade knows exactly what is best for the world and everyone in it! If we had less sparring and fighting, we would all be happier!"

Tsunade sighed. "That's not what I said."

"So, that's the end of this episode, buh-"

"It is NOT the end of this episode!" Naruto yelled, his head poking out of the broken window. "I'm here, and it's time to get into some real business. Team 8, come on in!"

As Team 8 entered, Sakura began yelling, "Naruto, that wasn't scripted! It's time for the episode to end!"

"I'm part of this show, I have a say in when it'll end!"

"Do not!"

"Do too!"

"Do not! Lady Tsunade, does he have a say?"

"Well, I'd assume he does, seeing as he is a host."

"See, Lady Tsunade agrees!"

"Um, guys?" Kiba asked.

Naruto and Sakura turned together and yelled simultaneously, "What?!"

"Uh, nothing, I guess."

"Good, shut it!"

Sasuke sighed. "Well, that's it for this episode. See you next time on Konoha Television."

"They didn't throw Naruto out of the window this time," Tsunade said, sounding disappointed.


	4. Episode Four

**Disclaimer**

 **I do not own Naruto. Naurto is the sole property of Misashi Kishimoto.**

Episode 4: Scripts? What Are Those?

 _The camera pans to the studio with repaired windows, a desk, and some paperwork. Sakura and Naruto sit behind the desk and Sasuke sits in the arm chair nearby._

"Hello and welcome to Konoha Television!" Sakura exclaims, raising her fist to the camera and flashing her teeth. "Now, you may be wondering why Konoha Television has been cancelled for the last few months-"

"It's because we had real missions," Sasuke interjects, glaring at Sakura.

"Yeah! We had better things to do, believe it!" Naruto shouts, popping up from his seat.

"To be honest, we have absolutely nothing scripted for this episode-" Sasuke begins.

Naruto sweated. "Wait, what? We have nothing planned?" he asks, gasping. "Then why do we have papers on our desk?" he shouts, picking up the blank pages that were laid against the desk and throwing them, then proceeding to jump over the desk.

Sakura lunges after him, punching him on the head, creating a dent in the floor below them. "It's for professionalism, you idiot!"

Sasuke sighs in exasperation. "Can you two stop breaking our stuff? We need this. We're going to have to do so much extra work to pay for this place since you all have destroyed every piece of it. Could you maybe stop?"

"See what you did, Naruto? You made Sasuke-kun mad," Sakura pouts, hitting him further, making his head disappear below the floor.

 _A scream is all that can be heard until even that sound was cut off by the sound of a body slamming onto a floor and the sound of an elderly lady screaming._

Sakura grimaces before peering into the gaping hole in the floor. "Um… I'm sorry, Naruto. I didn't mean to shove your head through the floor. I promise!"

"Hn. You say that, but yet you did it," Sasuke retorts, glancing at Sakura with only one eye.

"Shut up!"

"So, is this it? Are we done?" Sasuke questions.

Sakura paces. "No, no. This is way too short. This can't be it. Not yet. How about… I have a wonderful idea! To all of our lovely viewers, please, send in your comments and we will air them for you on Konoha Television! This is your chance to shine! Send them in quick and we'll put them in! It's perfect!"

Sasuke sighs. "And if they don't want to? Or what if we don't get any?"

Sakura sweats before returning to her normal, perky self. "Then we'll just make up comments!"

Rolling his eyes, Sasuke says, "Yeah, that'll totally work."

"That's it for today's show, b-"

The door slams open, revealing a torn and tattered Naruto Uzumaki. "Sakura!"

"Bye," Sasuke states, glaring at the two who seemed on the verge of fighting.

 _The camera remains on Naruto and Sakura as they lunge at each other and fight, only beginning to pan out minutes later when the fight shows no sign of ending._

 **Please do not actually send in requests to be in the next episode, as it violates guidelines.**


	5. Episode Five

**Disclaimer**

 **I do not own Naruto. Naruto is the sole property of Masashi Kishimoto.**

Episode 5: Hiatus

 _The camera pans in to show Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke; all three have a look of embarrassment on their paces. A sheet covers the room so that the background looks fake and black._

"So, uh, hello, Konoha," Sakura stammers. "We're back for a whole new adventure."

"We've been utter failures to produce this show," Sasuke explains. "We did try, of course, but things came up-"

Sakura nods in agreement, "Like going to the academy to help teach and missions and other drama-"

"He started it!" Naruto cries. His hand hits the curtain. The curtain falls to reveal the hole in the floor. Papers fly off of the desk and litter the floor.

"Cut!" Tsunade shouts. "This is why we can't film! We will not fix this room until you start following the scripts or we improve our ratings. We can't afford to keep fixing this room because of you three. It costs more money to produce this show than it does to simply let it happen and film. Cut."


	6. Episode Six

**Disclaimer**

 **I do not own Naruto. Naruto is the sole property of Masashi Kishimoto.**

Episode 5: Comments and Comets

 _The camera pans in on the Studio with a gaping hole me in the floor. Sakura stands, looking down the hole. Naruto cowers on stage-right, shaking. Sasuke sits in the arm chair. Papers still scatter the floor, although new papers are positioned on the desk. The walls are still broken._

"Hello, guys, and welcome back to Konoha Television!" Sakura shouts, grinning. "So, we still have a gaping hole in the floor and all, which might be problematic, but it's fine. Today, we're going to-"

"We're going to be interviewing some ninjas in Konoha to see their opinions of the show," Naruto says, cutting Sakura off.

"Idiot! Why'd you interrupt me?"

"You were taking up all of the camera time! I wanted to talk too!"

"You _always_ talk!"

"So do you!"

Sasuke sighs "Could you be quiet so we can introduce our first guest?"

Sakura bolts to Sasuke's side. "Of course, Sasuke-kun! Shut up, Naruto!"

"You shut up!"

"Anyways, our first guest is Team 8," Sasuke begins.

"Meet Kiba Inuzuka, Hinata Hyuuga, and Shino Abarame," Sakura introduces.

"I'm pretty sure they already have met them. I mean, we live in the same village. Does this really count as meeting them anyways?" Naruto ponders.

The door opens, and Kiba, Hinata, and Shino step in. Kiba sits in the chair closest to the camera. Shino and Hinata opts to stand at the edge of the door.

"So, what do you think of our show?" Naruto asks, bouncing around in front of the camera.

"Act professional!" Sakura shouts, pacing to the desk.

"Can we please just get on with this?" Sasuke groans from his chair in the other chair near Team 8.

"U-uh, Naruto, I l-love your show?" Hinata stammers, blushing.

"His show? He can't even go through a single episode without being a total idiot!" Sakura shouts. She slams her fist down on the table.

The table shatters; all eyes fall to Sakura.

"And you can't go an episode without breaking something!" Naruto yells. "We have a gaping hole on the floor because of you!"

"And the wall," Kiba adds. All eyes fall on the still-broken wall.

Sakura groans. "Tsunade is going to kill us."

Everyone nods. Naruto sits on the floor. "We really need to do better than this."

"Shall we continue the show?" Sasuke questions.

"I guess so. This is our mission assignment anyways," Sakura rambles.

Kiba shakes his head. "We'll come back in a little while."

Shino nods. "When you get things straightened out."

"G-goodbye Konoha," Hinata mutters.

 _The camera fades out away from the distraught hosts and guests._


	7. Episode Seven

**Disclaimer**

 **I do not own Naruto. Naruto is the sole property of Masashi Kishimoto.**

Episode 6: Scripts are for Losers

 _The camera pans in on a broken studio with holes throughout all of the walls. A bird nest is formed in the upper most hole where the small television used to sit. Sakura is behind the broken desk and Sasuke sits on the floor. Both look torn between horrified, embarrassed, and fake._

Sakura lifts her papers on the broken desk and pushes the bottoms of the paper onto the desk to straighten them. "Hello, and welcome to Konoha Television. My name is Sakura, and this," Sakura says, gesturing to Sasuke, "is Sasuke. We will be your co-hosts this evening, so please, sit down and relax and enjoy the broadcast."

Sasuke glances down at the stack of papers on his lap. "Tonight, we will be discussing the threat of the Akatsuki to the well-being of Konoha and the friendliness of all of the people within the loving community of the hidden leaf."

"But first, let's here from our lovely Hokage, Lady Tsunade," Sakura says, her voice dejected.

Lady Tsunade bursts through the door, and, consequently, the door falls off of the hinges. "Hello, Konoha! It's so nice to be here. Thank you so much!"

Sakura sighs. Sasuke rolls his eyes. Sakura speaks, "Hello, Lady Tsunade. Welcome to Konoha Television."

"Today, we will be interviewing our… our Great Hokage, Lady Tsunade," Sasuke mumbles.

Tsunade shoots a glance to Sasuke. "Excuse me? I didn't quite catch that."

Sasuke sighs. "I don't want to reread it."

"Read it, Sasuke," Tsunade warns. "Now."

"Today, we will be interviewing our Great Hokage, Lady Tsunade," Sasuke says quietly.

"I can't hear you, Sasuke."

"Today, we will be interviewing our Great Hokage, Lady Tsunade!" Sasuke yells, glaring.

Tsunade grins. "Interviewing little old me? Aw. You two are so sweet."

Sakura glares. "Shall we begin?"

"Certainly, certainly, dear Sakura-chan."

Sasuke groans. "Let's begin."

"Oh goody. What's the first question?"

Sakura speaks, "How old were you when you first realized how amazing you are?"

Naruto groans. "This is so stupid. We can't host a show when we can't even speak! Lady Tsunade, these rules are just ridiculous."

"We aren't making revenue your way. We'll make revenue my way," Tsunade explains tensely.

"Making us look fake and stupid won't help you make money. Besides, isn't the point of this mission to make people happy?" Sakura questions.

Tsunade nods. "Partially. But we still need to make enough money to make up for our immense losses. You three are awfully- good at breaking things."

"And your point is? It makes people happy," Naruto states.

"I have a tremendous idea! We'll just try something new for the next episode. Goodnight Konoha!" Tsunade shouts.

 _The camera blacks out to the faces of the hosts appearing incredibly confused._


End file.
